Remember how I was going to do stuff

Some things have gone well and some things not so much.

Battling the elements

Today the sun has broken through the clouds on our teething journey.

Harriett is no longer pulling at her ears, or grizzling constantly.  Our happy baby has returned.

However the pain in the ass that is my bi-polar continues to test me.

I spend most of my life in two states.

1. Manic - the house can never be clean enough and I go at every nook and crany with a toothbrush and bleach in an exhausting attempt to get it to my standards (which I never reach).  I organise and arrange everything from the pantry to the bathroom.  I attempt to sit down and within seconds I am fidgeting and surveying my surrounds for something to do.  I watch movies, whilst reading a book or scrolling the internet - able to absorb both.  I become hyper vigilant for imagined intruders and spend my nights pacing the house checking every lock and window.

2. Depression - Everything is hard, I sit on the couch for hours trying to convince myself to do the dishes.  Everything seems lack luster and pointless and I want to sleep.  All comments directed at myself are over analysed and interpreted as harsh criticisms.  Life is heavy and every task seems add to my burden.

Currently I'm entering the latter phase, this blog was hard enough to write.  But I feel prepared.  I will arm myself with manageable to do lists which instruct me on daily tasks such as having a shower and doing a single load of laundry.  I have a slow cooker, a kind husband, a helpful brother and a wonderful baby girl to help me not endure but bash through this phase until the end.

Over and out

Toothaches and Headaches

This week Harriett appears to be having a growth spurt and teething.

I am tired and running low.  My baby who is usually happy and calm in restless and grumpy,  I can't say I blame her.

It's easy to get frustrated when nothing you do seems to soothe them.  I've reminded myself a good 40 times over the last few days that she is a baby and this is her only way of communicating.  I dream about an app being made that analyses your child's cries and within 20 seconds determines whether they are hungry, tired, cold, hot or gassy.  I would give all of my savings to purchase it.

The dishes are not done, I haven't showered and the laundry is piling up.  But I have dinner in the slow cooker and a baby that is wrapped up like a burrito and is snoozing safely.

Today is a day for focusing on the little things that have worked.

Making changes to the way we live.

Lately I've thought a lot about consumption and waste. 

How common is it for people to just go to the shopping centre and browse, especially if they went there not needing or wanting anything.  How common is it to look at a full pantry and fridge, declare there is nothing to eat and go back to the supermarket or even get take out.

How often after a meal are the leftover servings and ingredients thrown out rather than utilised to be eaten again.

I'm guilty of doing all of the above and this year I aim to change that.

I had big dreams for how these changes would look but I've broken it down to some simple changes that I think are easily implemented and will get the ball rolling.

1.  Eat and use all perishable items - Rather than not utilizing a perishable item and throwing it in the bin.  I will make an effort to use it in some way shape or form.

2. Condense my wardrobe and not add to it - I have a buttload of clothing and I don't even wear half of it.  I'd like to condense my wardrobe and organise into outfits that I can wear everyday.

3. Re purpose or Recycle packaging - Glass jars, plastic containers etc.  I want to aim to try and reuse it somehow and if I truly can't then put it in the recycling.

4. Stop using the clothes dryer - I have a perfectly good line and all the time to use it.

I think these four changes will make a lot of difference to the way I live.

Just write Goddammit

I spend a lot of time, writing blogs in my heads.  Imagining the semi professional entries and my legion (yes legion) of readers.  Eventually I will be sponsored and never have to return to the working world again.

......NOPE

You need to actually start writing entries to get to this point.

So here it is, an entry.  Short and sweet.

I'm currently waiting till 7.30pm to go to ALDI and pick up some rolls and salad to go with the pulled pork that's just about finished in the slow cooker.

Good work, I wrote an entry.

Let's do this again sometime.

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I get to take a year off!!!!!

With a combination of savings, tax returns and the kind efforts of my parents.  I have the option of spending the whole year with Harriett.

More to come

...and I'm back

In my absence,  I had a baby and have spent the last three months tackling parenthood and watching all five seasons of mad men.

I will start updating more regularly.